


For Tonight I'm All Alone

by the_13th_battalion



Series: Zuko Gets Hugs [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Also Iroh and Zuko, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hugs, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Nightmares, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, apparently that's all I know how to write ha, did I mention people cry about lu ten, im back with another nightmare fic, lu ten is only mentioned I am so sorry, ozai is mean and doesn't deserve the sunshine that is zuko, people being mostly me but, set in book 2 after zuko's crisis coma, tea shop yay, thats important, we love these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_13th_battalion/pseuds/the_13th_battalion
Summary: “What’s wrong, nephew?”Zuko bit his lip as the longing in his chest came rushing back. “I, uh, I can’t sleep. Will you…um, could you make some tea? Please?”---Plagued by nightmares, Zuko seeks comfort in the form of his uncle's tea. He learns he's not the only one who is haunted by the ghosts of the past.
Relationships: Iroh & Lu Ten, Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Lu Ten & Zuko
Series: Zuko Gets Hugs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813720
Comments: 19
Kudos: 458





	For Tonight I'm All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BACK with another angsty fluffy Zuko fic!! My son deserves all the hugs and I aim to give them to him.
> 
> Please enjoy this round of Zuko getting the love and support he deserves <3
> 
> UPDATE: so I was rewatching book 2 and I had the horrible realization that they only get to spend like?? half a day in the jasmine dragon???? I'm SO SAD!!!! This is officially an au where they got more time before everything went wrong.

Zuko wiggled his bare toes in the soft grass, his heart light and carefree. A breeze ruffled his hair. The sun shone bright on his face. The cheerful sounds of spring filled the courtyard of the palace. A turtle duck waddled past him. He reached down and stroked its back as it went past.

He looked up at his mother, standing in front of him, and gave her a smile. She returned it and cupped his cheek, her feather light touch warm and comforting. He leaned into her palm and closed his eyes.

When he opened them, his mother’s face had morphed into that of his cousin, Lu Ten. He hardly noticed—or cared. The gentle touch on his cheek remained the same.

He blinked and the face changed again. Uncle Iroh smiled back at him. Zuko laughed.

He blinked. He stared into Azula’s cold, sharp eyes. His grin faded. Azula sneered. Her nails dug into his skin. The heat on his cheek no longer comforted him. Blood trickled from the fresh cuts.

“You’re pathetic,” she hissed, “Father’s going to kill you.”

“N-no… No, he won’t!” he stammered, “You’re…you’re lying!”

She laughed. Her face shifted into his father’s.

Zuko’s stomach flipped. Ozai twisted his hand in his hair, tugging painfully. The heat on his skin intensified. The grass beneath his feet disappeared as he came crashing to his knees on cold marble. His father caressed his cheek with his thumb, almost mockingly, before his hand raised and flames formed in his palm.

He sat up as phantom fire scorched his face. A choked cry slipped out of his mouth. Distant agony coursed through his veins. His hand flew to the rough, leathery skin of his scar. His other hand formed a fist around the fabric of his blanket. He closed his eyes. The smell of burning flesh flooded his nose and mouth. He knew it was only a memory, but he still gagged on it.

_I can’t breathe. I can’t see. I can’t BREATHE._

He tore the blanket off and flew to the window. He ripped it open and took several long, shaking breaths. He gripped the window sill with trembling hands. He looked down and noticed blood beneath his nails. He reached up and gingerly prodded the place nightmare Azula’s nails had pierced his skin. His fingers came away stained with more blood.

Zuko stared at the red on his skin. A droplet traced its way down his shaking finger. He remembered how that same hand, although smaller then, had grabbed hold of a man’s wrist, desperately pulling on it, hoping to stop the pain. He heard a little boy’s voice screaming, begging, praying for unconsciousness or death.

He shook his head, chasing out the memories. He left his room and went downstairs to the kitchen. He had never been more relieved to see the neat rows of teapots and teacups, the expanse of the empty tea shop dining room through the big bay window. He walked to the sink and ran his hand through the water, then he splashed some on his face. The chill of the water grounded him.

He returned to his room and sank on his bed. He stared out the window at the moon, shining high in the starry sky. He still had hours before the sun rose, which meant plenty of time for more nightmares.

_Excellent._

He tried to sleep, but his efforts proved useless. Every time he closed his eyes, he was back in that moment. His knees on the marble floor, his father’s hand in his hair, the heat on his skin.

At last, Zuko gave up. He sat in his bed and gazed at the sky.

A newfound ache came with it. He thought of his mother. Tears stung his eyes. He curled up and forced them back.

_This isn’t working. What should I do?_

He glanced out of his room, looking across the hall at Uncle Iroh’s closed door. All at once, he longed for his uncle’s warm hands, his rumbling laughter, even his confusing proverbs. His heart pulled so insistently that, before he knew it, he stood in front of Iroh’s door with his hand on the knob.

The door opened with a slight creak. He cringed despite his intent to wake his uncle. Iroh had his back turned to him. Zuko stood still and listened to him snore for a long minute.

“Uncle,” he called softly, “Uncle, wake up.”

Iroh sat up with a sigh, scrubbing a hand down his face. He turned and his eyes brightened. “Zuko. What is it?”

Zuko fiddled awkwardly with the front of his shirt. He lowered his gaze. _This is stupid. Why did I do this?! I’m not a little kid anymore!_

“What’s wrong, nephew?”

Zuko bit his lip as the longing in his chest came rushing back. “I, uh, I can’t sleep. Will you…um, could you make some tea? Please?”

“Oh! Of course!” Iroh stood and lit a candle. He smiled. If he noticed the nail marks on Zuko’s cheek, he made no sign of it. “Come on, let’s go downstairs.”

Zuko followed him to the kitchen. He hovered close by while Iroh made a pot of tea—jasmine, of course. His default tea of choice. Zuko wouldn’t have it any other way.

Once the tea was finished, they sat at a table in the dining room, pulling a couple chairs close together. Comfortable silence lingered around them. Zuko wrapped his hands around his cup and stared into the liquid. The gentle heat of the steam wafting to his face soothed him more than he cared to admit.

“You know,” Iroh said, breaking the silence, “my dreams were not that pleasant either.”

Zuko looked up. His heart twisted at the sight of tears in his uncle’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Iroh laughed lightly. “It’s not your fault.”

“I dreamed about…” Zuko stopped and gestured vaguely to his face. He looked back into the depths of his teacup.

Iroh hummed in understanding and sipped his tea. “The past has a way of never letting us forget.”

Zuko took a long drink. He almost enjoyed the way it burned down his throat.

“He would have been proud of you.”

Zuko stiffened.

Iroh’s voice was thick with emotion. “He would have been proud of the boy you were and the man you are becoming. He would have sung praises about your courage and wisdom. And he would have been heartbroken to see you in such pain.”

Zuko thought of Lu Ten and tried to imagine what it would have been like if he had lived to see the Agni Kai. Only by sheer will and respect for tradition would he have remained in his seat. Or perhaps he might have disregarded it all and stood between Zuko and Ozai from the beginning.

Zuko shook himself from his musing and glanced to the side at his uncle. He frowned at his sorrowful eyes and hunched shoulders. He hated to see him so broken and beaten by an inescapable past. He reached out and laid his hand on his arm. Iroh looked up and smiled, shifting to take Zuko’s hand. Some of the lines on his face softened.

“Remember this, my nephew,” Iroh spoke softly, “the past does not define you. Rather, it shapes you. It becomes a part of you. But you choose how it forms. You decide how it shapes you.”

The tension eased out of Zuko’s shoulders. “I think I understand.”

Iroh squeezed his hand in reply.

Silence cloaked them once again. They drank their tea and held onto each other in the stillness of night. The flickering light of the candle on the table cast familiar shadows across the room. Zuko breathed easier in this company.

“Did I ever tell you,” Iroh began, pouring more tea into their cups, “how excited Lu Ten was when I told him you were going to be born?”

“Not really,” Zuko replied, shifting closer.

Iroh laughed. “Well, he was thrilled. He could hardly wait to meet you. And when he finally did, he wouldn’t let go of you. But, to be fair, neither would you. You took his hand and held on tight. I think he would have carried you everywhere if your mother and I had let him.”

Zuko smiled. “I guess we were always inseparable.”

Iroh nodded. More of the lines on his face eased.

Zuko hesitated. “Can you tell me more about him?”

“Of course! There was the time I caught him trying to teach you how to use a sword when you were a toddler…”

Zuko listened to tale upon tale. Some he had heard before, others he heard for the first time. He drank in every word, reveling in the pictures his uncle painted for him.

As he listened, he barely noticed his eyes growing heavy. He didn’t notice his head tilting to the side until it came to rest on Iroh’s shoulder. He listened to the gentle rumble of his voice and the steady beat of his heart. At last, Zuko drifted off to sleep, his head full of turtle ducks and the sound of laughter.

* * *

Zuko woke slowly, reluctant to leave deep, peaceful sleep. He hadn’t slept like that in months, maybe years. He listened to the familiar sound of Iroh snoring and sighed happily.

He opened his eyes to look at the daylight shining in through the tea shop windows. He basked like a cat in the soft morning rays. He wished he could stay there forever.

Then realization hit him.

_The sun is up! We’re supposed to open any minute!_

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Iroh’s arm never slipped from around his shoulders.

Zuko turned and shook him. “Uncle, wake up!”

Iroh’s eyes snapped open. “What is it?!”

“The sun is up and we’re still in our pajamas!”

“Oh!” Iroh laughed. “We had better fix that before we have to explain ourselves to our customers!”

Zuko grinned, then he dashed upstairs. He changed and ran his fingers through his hair. He returned to the dining room and took the dishes they had used to the kitchen. Iroh soon joined him. He started a couple pots of tea, then he set to washing the dishes. Zuko took up the broom and began a quick sweep of the dining room, adjusting the chairs when needed.

He paused midway when he heard Iroh singing.

_I look up when I walk,_

_Counting the stars with tearful eyes,_

_Remembering those happy summer days,_

_But tonight I’m all alone._

Zuko stood still and listened to another couple verses, smiling at the cheerful tune despite the mournful lyrics. Iroh knew many songs, but this was one Zuko had grown up hearing.

He resumed sweeping, humming along. As the final verse approached, Zuko joined his uncle in a quiet voice.

_Sadness hides in the shadow of the stars._

_Sadness lurks in the shadow of the moon._

_I look up when I walk_

_So the tears won’t fall,_

_Though my heart is filled with sorrow,_

_For tonight I’m all alone._

If Zuko hadn’t had his back turned, he would have seen Iroh watching him with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Iroh and Zuko sing is a song called "Sukiyaki" or "Ue o Muite Aruko" (I Look Up When I Walk). My friend sent it to me a while ago. She said a teacher used to play it for her Japanese class. It reminded her of something Uncle Iroh would sing because it sounds really happy and bouncy but then the lyrics are actually depressing. It became an inspiration for this fic XD I included the translated version of these verses that my friend gave me.


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